On Friday according to what Beth told me, Mom showed some of the classic signs of dying where a person become really lucid and aware for a brief time then they fade and this coupled with a gut feeling, I thought that Mom would finally get some rest (i.e. die) and I called and had Kim call everyone to the place to say goodbyes. We called the few remaining relatives that could not make it down, namely Scott, Jennifer and Tom my aunt Teeny’s family. I also put in a call to mom’s friend Barbara and Mom’s friend from church Mary also came down with Father John and his wife. We had a bedside communion and prayers that personally seemed to go on for a long time. But t was nice for mom and I am sure it brought peace to Kim, Beth and Dayv. We all cried and talked to Mom one last time and she talked to us. The kids (Miranda and Alyssa) went down to the playroom and played video games. Then they had a Scategories game in the room which was good idle chatter I suppose. Then as the day progressed it mostly turned into us worrying about the pain she was in from her moving her leg, arm, back, tailbone. So I made a decision to eliminate her pain with a constant morphine pump instead of trying to get her to swallow anymore. We tried a few last times to get her to swallow but even with coaxing from Beth and me it was a long arduous battle. She has not had food or any substantial water since about Monday or Perhaps Tuesday. The head nurse of hospice whom I met at the hospital said that people that get into the routine of going without food or water do not typically live longer than two weeks. I am not sure what to think really. We all know Mom is a fighter and I am not sure if she was ready to go or not it seemed like she might be but I couldn’t really tell and now she is just sleeping/snoring so I have no clue. I am alone with her in the room right now and I turned on her easy listening channel on the cable box I brought from my house so she can listen to the music she likes anyway. The people and the environment here at hospice could not be better. The only weird thing I experienced was the check in process which could use some improvement. We wandered in from the hospital beating the ambulance somehow. (I know I drive fast but wow) When we came in I stood at the counter for a good 3 minutes while three women had idle chatter about some jewelry or window ornament one had acquired or something like that. Then after I signed the log and was told where to go we entered the room and seconds later Mom arrived. The next few minutes I spent bewildered at the incompetence of the female ambulance person while Dayv and I once again assisted with getting her moved off the stretcher to her bed. Then we were greeted by a nurse that I later found out had 14 years experience but she was very abrupt. She said without explanation that she had to inventory all the things we were bringing into Mom. I actually lied after about the fifth time of having to slow down so she could write and repeat myself and said we had nothing else. When I met with the very nice social worker Susan I shared both of those stories with her so they can make improvements.
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I guess they call this deathwatch and it is not very entertaining, fun, amusing or anything truly positive other than you knowing it is close of someone’s fight and that in our case I hope she goes with a peaceful sleep.
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